On My Father's Wings
by Nicole Berman
Summary: Harm has a little nightmare, and Mac makes it all better. (This takes place before Harm knew for sure his father was dead.)


Mac sighed and stretched. She felt a twinge in her back from the bar down the middle of Harm's couch and not for the first time this week, wished her fumigators ill. Idly, she wondered what had woken her from such a wonderful dream. He'd looked absolutely yummy, standing at the top of the stairs, in his dress whites, coming down to meet her.  
  
Her train of thought was interrupted as sounds filtered out of the bedroom. Standing quickly, Mac walked over to the closed bedroom door. She rapped loudly. "Harm, are you okay?" she called softly.  
  
When there was no answer, she knocked again and raised her voice. "Harm?" Still nothing. Mac eased the door open, and peeked in, hoping against hope he was decent.  
  
Harm lay on his bed, the covers thrown around his feet. His lanky form was curled into the fetal position, arms around his knees. A soft whimper escaped his throat as Mac stood there.  
  
Her heart clenched. *Poor Harm...he must be having a nightmare*, she thought. Going over to the bed, Mac sat down beside her partner and gently shook him. "Harm, wake up."  
  
He moaned softly. "No. No, Dad."  
  
Mac shook him a little harder. "Harm, wake up. It's Mac. You're having a nightmare." She reached out to stroke his cheek and patted it lightly. "Harm, wake up."  
  
Harm's eyes fluttered open, and the blue was a welcome sight to the worried Marine sitting on his bed. "Mac? Whatcha doin'?" he murmured.  
  
"You were having a nightmare, sailor," she said tenderly, clasping one of his hands between her two. "Want to tell me about it?"  
  
Harm shook his head slowly. "No...well, kind of. Yeah, I guess so." He unfurled himself but didn't make any move to get up. He stroked the inside of Mac's palm with his thumb.  
  
A shudder ran through her spine, but Mac forced herself to pay attention to the matter at hand. "So tell me," she said, quietly. She scooted back on his bed until she was leaning against the headboard. Mac reached down and gently guided Harm until his head was lying against her chest. She caressed his hair as he spoke.  
  
"I was standing on the deck of a carrier. I was watching the planes take off. I'm not sure why, but I felt afraid. And then my dad came onto the flight deck--" Harm paused in his ramblings.  
  
"Go on," Mac's gentle tone encouraged him and her hands comforted him silently.  
  
"My dad went to climb into his plane, and I knew this was the night he was going to disappear."  
  
"Oh god, Harm, I'm sorry," Mac whispered. "How awful."  
  
Harm nodded, pressing himself closer to her. His long arms circled her waist, clinging to her as if she were a life raft. "It was," his voice cracked slightly. "I begged him not to go, but he just smiled down at me. 'I'll be back.' That's what he said. That's what he used to say to me every time he left Mom and me." A silent tear slipped down Harm's cheek and plinked as it hit Mac's dogtags.   
  
Harm didn't seem to notice, but Mac reached out and wiped the tear's track away with her thumb. "It's okay," she rocked him slightly. "You'll feel better once you get it all out, Harm."  
  
The sound of his name on her lips always did Harm's heart good. "My dad turned to me...and he slipped something into my hand. He climbed into the Tomcat...and he took off. I looked down into my hand and saw his wings. I was staring at them when you woke me."  
  
Mac sighed softly. "It's over now, Harm. You're safe," she said as she continued to soothe his fears with her touch. Mac nuzzled his hair with her nose, softly inhaling the scent that was his.  
  
Harm craned his neck to look up at her. He disappeared in her brown eyes for a moment, before flashing her half a flyboy grin. "Thanks, Mac."  
  
"Anytime, Flyboy. Think you can sleep now?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, but his arms remained around her waist, his head undisturbed on her chest.  
  
"Uhm, Harm?"  
  
"Yes, Mac?"  
  
"The couch is getting cold," she teased. "And your head is big and heavy."  
  
"Oh, sorry." Harm moved his head off her chest and onto the nearest pillow, still not moving his hands from her stomach.  
  
"Harm!" Mac chuckled softly. "You know what I meant."  
  
"Don't go, Mac," he mumbled into her side. "Hold me."  
  
Well, with a request like that, she had no choice. Mac snuggled down next to him, drawing the covers up over his shoulders. She drew him into her arms and whispered into his neck. "Sleep tight, Harm."  
  
"You too, Sarah," he replied sleepily as he drifted off.  
  


* * *

  
Awaking the next morning to an empty space instead of his partner, Harm sat up with a sigh. He made his way into the kitchen and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  
  
The table was set with a glass of juice, a wheat germ bagel and no-dairy cream cheese, and a small package. The outside said simply "Harm", in Mac's simple handwriting.  
  
He opened the envelope and read the short note. "I know Hammer would be proud of you," it said. Mac's voice spoke the words in Harm's head. "I am, too."  
  
Harm slid a cassette tape out of the package and popped it into his stereo. He pressed play, and sat down on the couch. Harm closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the couch.  
  
The music began to play, softly at first. The Celtic tones drifted through Harm's head, soothing him. A young girl's voice began to sing.  
  
If you are with me now,  
I'd find myself in you.  
If you are with me now,  
you're the only one who knew...  
All the things we planned to do.  
  
As Harm listened to the lyrics, he wondered what this had to do with him. Mac certainly was an odd, if lovable, creature.  
  
I want to live my life,  
the way you said I would.  
With courage as my light,  
fighting for what's right,  
like you made me believe I could.  
  
And I will fly on my father's wings,  
to places I have never been.  
  
Harm gasped as the meaning of the song hit him. *Oh, Mac,* he thought. *You really do know me, don't you?*  
  
There is so much I've never seen,  
and I can feel  
his heart beat still,  
and I will do great things  
On my father's wings.  
  
Harm shut his eyes tighter, conjuring up the memory of the last time he saw his father alive...of the last hug...of the last whispered goodbye.  
  
This world I'll never see.  
My dreams that just won't be.  
This horse astride,  
with one day's ride,   
we'll have covered more distance than just me.  
  
And I will fly on my father's wings,  
to places I have never been.  
There is so much I've never seen,  
and I can feel  
his heart beat still,  
and I will do great things  
On my father's wings.  
  
Harm felt the words of the song flow into him, around him, touching the core of him. He felt the tears start to flow unbidden. *I miss you, Dad.*  
  
Someday, with his spirit to guide me,  
and his memory beside me,  
I will be free...  
  
Without a word, Mac entered the apartment and stood silently, waiting for the song's end.  
  
To fly on my father's wings,  
to places I have never been.  
There is so much I've never seen,  
and I can feel  
his heart beat still,  
and I will do great things  
On my father's wings.  
On my father's wings!  
  
As the music faded away, Harm could hear his father's voice in his ears. "I love you, kiddo. I'll be back soon." His voice melted into Mac's. "I love you, Harm."  
  
Harm's eyes flew open. "Did you just...."  
  
"I did." Mac walked over to the couch. Crossing one leg underneath her, she sat down beside Harm. "And I do." She placed a hand on his cheek, savoring the feel of his skin on hers.  
  
"I do, too." Harm said softly, and smiled. "I love you, Mac."  
  
"Holding you last night made it impossible for me to ignore it any more, Harm." Mac shifted so that she was kneeling on the couch next to him. "I know this will complicate work, but we're both professionals. We'll work it out." She brushed his lips with hers, softly, barely. "You're too important to me to put work first anymore. C'mere, Flyboy." Mac took him into her arms, kissing his forehead gently.  
  
Harm pulled her down onto his lap, kissing her tenderly. "I've waited so long for this," he whispered.  
  
"I've been waiting all my life for this," Mac smiled at *her* Flyboy.  
  
THE END


End file.
